Dawning of Ecstasy:
A Dream in Realization
Ecstasy began in the mid 1950's during what I believe was a preadolescent
crush on my second grade teacher in hot and sultry south Louisiana. I
thoroughly enjoyed my status as teacher's pet. Miss C, I'll call her, was
the consummate mid-fifties coordinated woman, so stylish from her tasteful
coiffure to her elegant high heels. So kind and understanding with a gentle
smile that brightened our day. One of the most beloved teachers in our
school. As you can see by the image below, she was the epitome of womanhood
for the era.
only recently traced the beginnings of my femme self to Miss C, although the
whole persona of Erica has been molded through the years by other icons of
womanhood I have been acquainted with or adored from afar.
my mother played a large role and was instrumental in the development of
many traits that have allowed me to enjoy life and , hopefully enrich the
lives of my family and friends, she was an incredible cook and homemaker and
I spent hours in the kitchen helping her with family meals and now as a
personal chef, cooking is just second nature to me.
There were the
glamorous and tragic movie stars of the period, the list would be a long one
and many are still icons to womanhood and thrive with their influence on me
unabated. I try to pay tribute to these stars and are mindful of them.
Whenever I slip on my feminine apparel I am reaching for that unreachable
star and dreaming the impossible dream. As silly as some may think, it is an
impersonation that yields a great comfort and satisfaction, a true ecstasy.
is an activity that hurts no one, violates, it seems, a few outdated and bizarre
mores of society and provides the participant an occasional flight of fancy and
a way of expression unequaled by other means. I am, essentially, the same person
en femme or non femme, yet when dressed in my feminine attire I just feel
better. Even when the exterior clothes are masculine, if I am wearing my
feminine under garments I have a sense of comfort that alters me in a positive
the fixation on clothes, you ask? I truly can't tell you. Except to say, or
ask, is there a particular outfit or suit of clothes that you wear which gives
you confidence and to which you gravitate when an important function is
believe we all have favorite clothes we wear for special occasions in our
lives, are we all impersonating something when we attire ourselves with these
special clothes? Not really, clothes are just that, cotton or rayon, silk or
satin. "if it looks good ,wear it", the clothes don't make the man
or woman", but they do speak volumes on our inner confidence and
appearance is a societal requirement even in these days of grunge and
next time you see a nice looking person walking down the street, take notice,
but please don't take offense if they may be wearing an outfit not in keeping
with society's image.
are not all candidates for the Jerry Springer Show, we may just feel better and
more expressive than the next guy at the moment. Living, breathing, adaptable
and riding the same planet with you. Embrace the diversity and go shopping for
your own favorite feel good clothes.
Now, enough of the
consciousness raising, self -driven psycho-babble and on to MY STORY. It's a
story not unlike any other lifelong crossdresser. You will hear a slightly
different story with the same recurrent theme. Unless you are interested in
the topic, you will probably be bored to tears, but I just need to get it out
there to encourage all of my closeted sisters to grab their garter belts and
Thank you for
visiting. Please continue or take a break and look at some of my pictures,
lovingly taken for your enjoyment. Drop me a line and let me know what you
think. I would be happy to share with you any insights or even a few of my
favorite recipes, if you so desire. LIFE IS FOR LOVING!